Prayer...

Ok, so I know it's been forever since I've written last. Time alone in the house is sometimes hard to come by! :)



So I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately. I found myself asking how should I pray? That might seem odd but maybe you've found yourself asking the same thing. Here's how I got there.

In my very darkest time in my grief, I was questioning prayer. Does it really work. Let me just clarify, that I have gotten past that point and I do think prayer is very important. Anyways, I was thinking, during that time, about how much I prayed for every child of mine from the minute I found out I was pregnant. I prayed for them to be born healthy, well...and cute too! :) And you know that Halayna was the only one born alive and well. So that got me thinking about prayer. The whole time I prayed for them, God knew the three would die eventually. That I would never hear them cry or know them. All that praying seemed to be for nothing, that even if I prayed, it didn't do any good. That I couldn't change God's mind and that He would allow sin to cause them to die. So that got me thinking.

Now that Daniel and I are trying to expand our family yet again (it is exciting), I've thought about how I should pray. What do I pray for exactly? And this question had been in my head for quite a while.

Conviently enough, God answered it as He often does. He had a guy from our church give a sermon on praying the Lord's prayer. The prayer He told His deciples to pray. Which is very much still valid today. And that was my answer of how I should pray!



"Our Father in heaven,
let Your name be holy,
let Your kingdom come,
and let Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
For the kingdom and the power
and the glory belong to You!
Amen!"

I got this version from a book written by the guy that gave the sermon. The book is about praying the Lord's prayer. I haven't read it all yet, in fact, I just started but so far it's pretty good.

Well, I've gone over the prayer and have thought about it a lot. So here's what I've been thinking about it and praying...



"Our Father in heaven, let Your name be holy."

Lord, my Father, You are worthy of praise. Even in the midst of my deepest grief and feelings of loss, You are worthy to be praised. Help me to give my praise to You even when I don't feel like it or am feeling rejected by You even though I know I am really not.



"Let Your kingdome come, and let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

Lord, no matter what happens, let YOUR will be done. If I get pregnant with Your child (You're letting me borrow for a bit) and they go to be with You before me and that is Your will, then let it be done. If it means I get to keep Your child for longer and that is Your will, then let it be done. I give it to You. Let Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.



"Give us today our daily bread."

Lord, give me what I need to get through this day. I am going to put my trust in You to provide for my needs for me today and tomorrow.



"Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."

Lord, forgive me for my shortcomings, for my sins. Please help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me.



"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."

Lord, help me to call on You during moments of temptation. Stay between me and the evil one so that he has no way of filling my head with his lies.



"For the kingdom and the power and the glory belong to You!"


There has even been times when I just didn't know what to pray for. So I asked the Holy Spirit to intercede for me. God knows me. He knows what is good for me. He knows me better than I know myself. I can tell Him my desires even though I know that He already knows them. I still do. I tell Him how badly I would like another child.
When I pray the Lord's prayer, I am confident that no matter what happens, that I'll get through it and that His will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. It's trusting God. His goodness and faithfulness. It's knowing, He will give me the desires of my heart. It is trusting He will give me what I truly need. I don't always understand it, believe me, I feel like I have a permanent question mark over my head but God's ways are not our ways. He is God. We can't put him into a box. Eventually we'll know His reasons for things. Until then, I have faith. Faith that His will for me, is perfect.

"Lord God, Your Holy Spirit helps me in my weakness. I do not know what I ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for me with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches my heart knows the mind of the Spirit, because Your Spirit intercedes for me in accordance with Your will. (Rom. 8:38-39)"