I visited a few blogs about other moms who have had to bury their children like I did.
In a way I felt comforted at the fact I wasn't alone and that there were other's out there going through similar grief.
On the other hand, I felt terrible for them and a flood of tears came streaming down my face, for them and for me.
It is so unfair to have to bury your child.
I've been very emotional the past few days. Not sure why exactly but I've shed a million tears! Could be crazy horomones...
But I think it's just that I miss my son.
After visiting the blogs and looking at pictures of their beautiful babies, I looked at the pictures of Gabriel. It has been a while since I've looked at them. I am reminded of how beautiful he was. I've looked at the pictures a hundred times and sometimes I cry and other times I smile. Well, I cried tonight and felt the urge to grab him out of my computer. If only I could...
So yes, 6 months since he was born has gone by and my grief is changing..but that's just it, I'm still very much grieving and missing my son. And I know, I will always miss him...
Maybe I'm so emotional because Mother's Day is coming. Definately a bittersweet one this year. Celebrating the fact that I'm a mother to 5 now. Celebrating that I have Halayna with me and #5 on the way. But also grieving the fact that three of my children are not with me. Especially Gabriel who should be around 5 months old today if he would have been born on his due date. If I could ask for one gift on Mother's Day, it would be to have all my children with me...healthy...and alive...but I know that's a gift nobody can ever give me.
At least I have my daughter. I will just have to hug and kiss her and tell her I love her all day long until she gets annoyed at me...of course I do this on a regular basis and not just on Mother's Day... :)
So when you're praying please pray for all the parents out there that have had to bury their children. All those mothers out there that are having a hard time with Mother's Day this year. Thank you.
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Thanks for sharing, Lori. I was thinking about you a lot on this Mother's Day, and I thought of you during the "presentation" that they did at church, too. Hope you are enjoying this sunshine today!
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