Songs of joy...

Remember that emotional outbirst? The post labeled "Defeated". I thought for sure it was crazy girl horomones from PMS. I have to say I was wrong. Crazy girl horomones...yes! Crazy girl pregnancy horomones!

Yep that's right! "Aunt flow" didn't come on her scheduled day like she always does. So I picked up a test at the store and sure enough, there it was...that extra pink line!

There are mixed emotions. I am excited. I am going to take it day by day. And enjoy it day by day. I am still sad I don't have Gabriel and still miss him so much but I think this pregnancy will be very healing. And I am going to be positive about it I've decided.
I look forward to meeting this little one hopefully the day after Thanksgiving or around that time. Seems so far away. Maybe that's what the word "wait" has been about.

I said to Halayna, "Mommy has a tiny baby in her tummy." She said "I know." I asked, "Did somebody tell you?" She said, "No. I just know." And she, of course, wants a sister.

I've told a handful of people but other than that, you, my faithful blog readers, get to know firsthand! (I took the test yesterday).

So how do we pray now? It goes back to the Lord's prayer. "Let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." So that is my prayer. No matter what happens, Lord, remind me of Your never-ending love, Your promises, and that You will turn my mourning into gladness. Like you said in Jeremiah 31:13 "I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." "I want to trust in You, Lord, with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways I will acknowledge You, and You will make my paths straight.
(Prov. 3:5-6)"


"The Lord will do great things for me, and I will be filled with joy. I will sow in tears, then I will reap with songs of joy. If I go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, I will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with me. (Ps. 126:5-6) O God, please help me to be willing to sow the seed of Your Word and water it with my tears, believing You even in the midst of this terrible pain. If I do, You will be faithful to fill me with joy again. You will faithfully bring a harvest forth from my life. My suffering will not be in vain."