Thursday, July 8, 2010

It's been more than 8 months

Gabriel has been gone longer than he was alive.
Isn't it amazing how many lives have been changed by this little baby boy we never got to know?
How many lives were changed by this boy who was only alive for 7 1/2 months.

I can say that I still think of Gabriel everyday but I haven't cried for him for a while and I've been feeling good. Of course I know that with grief, there are ups and downs. So I've been feeling up lately. Maybe it's the anticipation of this new baby, #5.

This new baby reminds me of Gabriel though. The other day, when I grabbed Daniel's hand to feel baby move, baby stopped. Just like Gabriel did when he was this small. Of course, Halayna could have done that too but I just don't remember. Plus, I didn't feel Halayna move until I was further along. It reminded me of Gabriel and I didn't feel sad. I actually smiled and had a good memory of him. It was such a nice feeling since there just aren't very many memories of him.

I'm looking forward to getting some pictures of Gabriel printed and getting some frames up after we move our house. And of course, I still have the memory book to do. Something I still have not done. Something that I'm still not sure how to do exactly and of course, haven't found the perfect time or the perfect materials to do so. Will I ever?

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