"Sweet Pea"

Tears burned my eyes tonight as I looked at Gabriel's ultrasound picture. It's hard to go back to that moment when he was alive and to now be in this moment knowing he is not.

I have had such joy and excitement yesterday and today since seeing "Sweet Pea". But there is that other family member not getting to celebrate his younger sibling.


Before the ultrasound, I still had not decided yet if I wanted to know the gender of the baby. I didn't finally decide until the ultrasound tech. told me to decide quickly since she wanted to look at the baby's blatter. I had been thinking it would be fun to be surprised again but I felt like knowing if this was a boy or girl would give me a better connection with the baby. I feel like maybe I would have had a better connection with Gabriel if I had known he was a boy. So that's when I told the tech. that yeah I wanted to know.

I wasn't too surprised when we found out the gender. If you've read my other postings and if you know about all my children, you'd know that there seems to be a pattern of genders. First was a girl, Halayna. Second, even though I don't know for sure, I thought it was a boy. Third, still not knowing for sure, I thought it was a girl. Fourth was Gabriel, all boy! So, obviously this has to be a....girl! And I couldn't be happier. Was I hoping for a boy? No. I was hoping for a healthy, normal baby. I smile when I think of "Sweet Pea." She is beautiful and I can't wait to meet her in November!

Thank you all my faithful blog readers for sharing in this happiness with me!